Note to Readers: Clear boundaries mean less stress. It is never too early to teach children that healthy relationships have healthy sibling boundaries. This applies to children, parents, friends, and siblings. I love how this fun story demonstrates this concept! Thank you Aly and Andrea!
by Aly and Andrea
During their play time last night, our children (we have 2 each) had established that the boys (ages 7 and 8) were overstepping the boundaries of the girls (ages 9 and 10) when it came to building and “living” in their tent… uh… fort. Or perhaps it was vice-versa, with girls in the way of boys. Same difference, we know.
So, the kids determined there was a boundary issue and they did what any entrepreneurial offspring would do: they came up with terms and wrote up a contract. We found it in the printer this morning when we came into the office for work. No joke, this is what it said, word-for-word:
CONTRACT:
I, (first name, middle, last), solemnly swear I will NOT cross the dividing line unless given permission to do so. I will NOT annoy, disrupt, bother, talk to, touch, spit on, shoot (with dart gun or any other weapon), SPY, hurt, or anything else related to this. I, (first name, middle, last), promise ALL this is true and if I disobey I WILL take the needed consequence. I WILL do this with NO loopholes.
Signature: ___________________________
[Editor’s note: for the record, the dart guns are Nerf dart guns… and those little things are everywhere around the house!]
So there it is, friends. The kids around here see how important it is to define boundaries clearly and to communicate them to others. You might not need a contract as sophisticated as this one, but hey… we’re all about equipping you with the best of the best resources. And it’s a great reminder about the consequences in life and in business when you DON’T define boundaries. People will inherently be in your space, move your business in ways you don’t really want it moved, and hold you back from being the best you can be. They don’t always MEAN to do that, but that’s the way it goes when you haven’t worked out your business and personal boundaries.
What boundaries do you need to make today? What boundaries do you think you have but really are not communicating to others? The ones you’re not “enforcing” are the most frustrating of all! We hope that you’ll follow the lead of the wise-ones ages 7, 8, 9, and 10, and make it your personal mission today to get rid of the loopholes that everyone in your environment has right now. You know the ones that allow them to annoy, disrupt, bother, talk to, spit on… And we encourage you to create and enforce those boundaries. (It’s perfectly fine to say NO, you can’t help with the neighborhood holiday block party unless you genuinely WANT to help.) Find the boundaries, and use them. You’ll be SO glad you did!
Until next time… Rock on!
This article was presented by Rock Star U: Aly and Andrea are identical twins, motivational speakers, and coaches with an emphasis on keynotes and trainings that inspire, educate, lead, and empower audiences to not only survive adversity, but to thrive in it. Hear their incredible story here. Hint: One is blind, both have Vision. To see Aly and Andrea’s press kit, click here.
I love this! My 6 year old asked yesterday if I’d help him make a “Do Not Disturb” sign for his bedroom door so his twin brothers (ages 4) would know when to stay out. I thought it was great problem solving!
That is a 6 year old that knows how to set healthy boundaries and have less stress!
I can´t wait for my gilr to sign a contract like that! she is 3 and we´ve been working on rules for socialization. It´s a slow process but very effective.
So great to hear you are teaching boundaries at an early age! Good for you!
Ah, so glad you enjoyed this one. And thanks, Lori for sharing. Yes, boundaries are one of the greatest gifts you can give others…and yourself. Two steps: inform others what your boundaries are, and 2. Enforce those boundaries like crazy and with consistency. Stressing less already, huh?!!! Thx again! @alyandrea
I have such a hard time with my two boys 12 and 15. Its the 15 yr old of course who always wants to be alone etc. The problem is they share a room. My 12 yr old takes it to heart and i keep explaining its the age. My last suggestion was to put a sheet between their desks so it could be like a private space, the older one said, ” its his presence that bothers me” Oh boy. These are tough years. Any other suggestions,