by Dr. Michele Borba
Note to Readers: So often in our quest to “be the best parent we can be” we exhaust ourselves, complicate situations, and create stress. We lose site of the simple stress free solution. When I read Michele’s top ten parenting solutions from her latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. I knew I had to share it with you. Thanks Michele!
1. Get attention: Lower your voice almost to a whisper and then say your request. Kids aren’t used to a quiet request.
2. Increase positive behavior: Research shows that giving kids the right kind of praise (called “positive reinforcement”) is one of the best ways to shape new behavior. So, catch your kid doing the action you want. Just make sure your praise is specific and tells your child exactly what he did right. (Adding “because” or “that” takes your praise up a notch. “I’m so impressed that you started your homework all by yourself this time.”)
3. Stretch persistence: Praising the child’s effort (“You’re working so hard”) and not inherent intelligence (”You’re so smart”) is proven to enhance perseverance and performance, but the child is also more likely to bounce back from a mistake—all because he feels success is not mixed.
5. Curb a tantrum: The longer you give attention to a tantrum the longer it lasts. Ignore, ignore, ignore!
6. Nurture kindness: Encourage your child to use the Two Praise Rule every day. “Say or do at least two kind things to someone.” Random acts of kindness really are catchy!
7. Increase assertiveness: Stress: “Look at the color of the talker’s eyes.” Using eye contact helps kids appear confident. Strong body posture also helps a child be less likely to be bullied.
8. Friendship builder: The two most commonly used traits of well-liked kids are “smiling” and “encouraging.” Reinforce those traits in your child to boost his friendship quotient.
9. Develop healthy eating habits. Eating relaxed family meals regularly enhances kids’ psychosocial well- being, boosts grades and deters behaviors like smoking and drinking and eating disorders as well as teaches the child healthy eating habits.
10. Curb nagging. Say “no” the first time and don’t back down. The average kid nags nine times knowing the parent will give in.
Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, TODAY show contributor, parenting expert who has worked with over one million participants, and award winning author of 22 books. For more about her check out her WEBSITE, or follow her on TWITTER @MicheleBorba
The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries can be purchased on Amazon.
Parenting is one of the most stressful relationships in the world. Treat yourself to relaxation techniques and music. Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation.