Note to Readers: I must admit, I never heard of twerking until Miley Cyrus took the stage. All I could think was how sad her parents must have felt to have to watch their daughter unravel in such a humiliating way. Then I realized that my own daughter would see and hear about her performance no matter how hard I tried to make it disappear.
Thanks to Maureen for sharing her post.
by Maureen (Mo) Weinhardt
At no time in the history of media have adults needed to be more vigilant about the quantity and quality of the programming kids are allowed to consume.
Children are very impressionable, and are constantly discovering and creating their identities based on what they think is cool (or absorbing what their friends think is cool).
It bothers me (to put it nicely) that the state of feminine independence and sexual freedom is so hopelessly confused with scantily-clad, hyper-sexualized behavior. This is not what it means to be a woman. Shaking your butt all over some older guy’s crotch in a raunchy televised performance says… what? (I’m referring here to Miley Cyrus & her “twerking” act during MTV Video Music Awards, which I won’t dignify with a link but will show a picture to give you the idea).
Is this the embodiment of a mature, sexually confident woman? I think not. And to be honest, if those are the talents that “grown up” girls want to showcase, it’s not for me to judge. (Although it’s hard not to). My concern is about what younger audiences are exposed to.
To the extent that kids’ media exposure can be controlled, the only people with any leverage here are parents. To all you awesome parents out there, I ask only that you pay attention. Hang out with your children, interact, play games, read together, go places, engage in the real world – and be mindful about what your kids watch on TV or online. Be aware of the social networks they are a part of. Know who your child looks up to, and talk to them about some of the crap they might see.
A little conversation can go a long way. If your tween saw Miley’s VMA performance, for example, you don’t have to get on a soap box and rant (like I’m doing now!), you can simply ask questions to get them thinking. What does it mean to be a woman? What does it mean to be a man? How is this different from being a “grown up” (legally speaking)?
It’s all about self-respect, and thankfully, you are the most important role model your child has.
How do you manage your child’s media consumption?
Maureen (Mo) Weinhardt, MS, is an experienced educator with a unique perspective on how child development, behavior management & mindfulness intersect to reduce the stress of parenting and strengthen family relationships.
Maureen is a published author and experienced educator who has worked with students ranging in age from 2-18 through classroom instruction, tutoring, mentoring and as an in-home care provider. With this unique and comprehensive understanding of child development, Maureen now shares her knowledge and experience through parent workshops as well as through her website, GrowingWithYourChild.com.
To schedule a workshop or presentation on with Maureen, contact her at Mo@GrowingWithYourChild.com! Her new book, The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Mindful Children, is available through Amazon.
Has Miley thought through her actions do you think when she did all that twerking or was it just her expressing herself – saying I am here – I am sexy and buy my record. So very young she has a huge fanbase who may at one time looked up to her and unfortunately they may still do. Our job as parents is to talk about her actions with our kids so that they understand this is not normal behaviour.
Yes, communication is key so that we can counteract the media messages our kids are receiving.
Naomi, I really appreciate your comment. Who can say what Miley has or hasn’t thought through, let alone who/what is influencing her decisions?
I recently came across a strongly worded letter written to Miley from Sinead O’Connor with the message, “Don’t let the music business make a prostitute of you.” Although Sinead’s language can be crass, it informs heavily on this conversation and is worth the read. Above all, this situation highlights the need for parents and teachers alike to be the role models we want our children to look up to!
http://music-mix.ew.com/2013/10/02/sinead-oconnor-miley-cyrus-open-letter/
i love miley twerking…. SAID NO ONE EVER